Harry Accidentally Rewrites History
by GemmaGemini98
Summary: When 27 year old Harry Potter is bored, he gets out the Marauders' Map to tell Wormtail what he thinks of him. Unfortunately, he forgets what Fred and George once told him... AU, oneshot.


_March 2007_

Harry was bored. Ginny was at work, and Molly was looking after James and Albus while he was supposed to be doing some Auror paperwork.

Except, now he thought about it, he had till Monday to finish the paperwork. So it wouldn't matter if he took a quick break... would it?  
><em>No. It most definitely wouldn't.<em>

And as Harry was so bored, he decided to go through all of his drawers in his desk for the sake of it. As you do.

The first drawer had parchment and quills in. Only people like Hermione and Remus found parchment and quills fun.  
><em>Remus... <em>

Harry's heart constricted painfully as he thought about Remus.  
>And thinking of Remus made him think about Sirius.<br>Thinking about Sirius made him think about his Mum and Dad.  
>Harry wished he could speak to all of them, just once more.<p>

Harry remembered the time in his third year, when Snape was trying to confiscate the Marauder's Map, and it had started insulting him...

Harry knew what could make him less bored.

'_Harry Potter, you are a genius!' _he thought excitedly. Yes, it was arrogant, but he could speak to some of the people he hadn't seen in years!

Pulling out the Marauder's Map, Harry remembered what Fred and George had told Harry about how they had got the map to work, shortly before they escaped Umbridge.

"_Hey... Fred, George... how did you get the Map to work, if you didn't know you had to say I solemnly swear I am up to no good?" Harry asked one evening after a particularly brutal detention with Umbridge._

_Fred and George looked at one another. "Well, you see-"started Fred_

"_It wasn't easy, because-"_

" _Like you said, we didn't have any idea-"_

"_Of how to work it. We were only ickle firsties-"_

"_And we didn't know much magic, did we George?"_

"_Not much at all. It was only when I accidently-"_

"_Oh please. It was me, Georgie!"_

"_No, no, Freddie, it was blatantly me."_

"_I'm certain it was myself."_

"_IT WAS ME!"_

"_GUYS!" Harry yelled "Can you just carry on with the story, please?"_

"_Of course! So __one __of us left our wand on it, and in a moment of insanity-"_

"_It was definitely you then Fred."_

"_OI! Anyway, in a moment of insanity and genius, the twin who owned that particular wand spoke to the map, and to our complete and utter disbelief-"_

"_The map spoke to us!"_

"_So, there you go. They couldn't tell us outright, though."_

"_They just gave us clues."_

"_So there you go! That was the moment when George and I found out the password-y thingymajig."_

"_Off to bed now, Harry! We have __quite__ a surprise for Umbitch- sorry, Umbridge, tomorrow, so we all need our beauty sleep."_

Harry grinned widely. He hastily pulled out his wand, and touched the tip of it to the parchment.

"Hello, Marauders. My name's Harry James Potter." He said clearly.

(A/N) Harry Potter **James Potter **_Sirius Black _Peter Pettigrew _**Remus Lupin **_(Just to make it clearer!)

_Mr Padfoot would like to know if Harry James Potter is of any relation to James Charlus Potter._

"Yeah, I am. He's my dad."

**Mr Prongs doesn't wish to be rude, but the handsome and charming James Potter doesn't have a son. **

_**Mr Moony would also like to know what the year Mr Harry Potter is talking to us from is.**_

"Prongs, just because you don't have a son whenever you put your memories is in this thing, doesn't mean you won't have a son in the future. And, Remus, it is currently 2005"

Mr Wormtail would like to know how Harry Potter knows Mr Prongs and Mr Moony's names.

"Maybe because I know 3 out of four of you. And one of you is a lying, sneaky little traitor. And he's a bit of a rat too."

_Mr Padfoot wants to know what Harry Potter thinks of the name Prongslet, as Harry Potter is Mr Prongs' son and Mr Padfoot really doesn't like saying Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter._

_**Mr Moony would like to know if Mr Padfoot really thinks that question is really necessary at this present point in time, as Mr Prongs' son has just accused Mr Wormtail of being a traitor.**_

_Mr Padfoot does in fact think that is a necessary question, as like Mr Padfoot said earlier, Mr Padfoot REALLY REALLY hates repeating Harry Potter a dozen times in a sentence._

Mr Wormtail would like to say that he... err... that he doesn't know what Harry Potter is talking about! Mr Wormtail is in no way a traitor a-at all!

"Save it for someone who cares, Pettigrew. And Mr Padfoot, you can call me Prongslet if you wish."

**Mr Prongs would like to ask the Prongslet to not be so rude to Mr Wormtail, who is one of Mr Prongs' best friends.**

Mr Wormtail would like to know if Prongslet has any evidence about Mr Wormtail being a traitor.

"I do, as a matter of fact." Harry scowled. "When I was transported to Riddle graveyard, you cut of your hand to give Lord Voldemort a body. And then you were strangled to death by the silver hand your master gave you when you hesitated in killing me. So yes, _Pettigrew._ I have evidence."

**Mr Prongs would like to ask Mr Wormtail what he was really doing with Snivellus, Avery and Mulciber in the empty classroom last week**

"BAD MENTAL IMAGES, PRONGS!"

**Mr Prongs apologises for the nightmares Prongslet will surely have tonight**

_Mr Padfoot would like some chocolate._

_**Mr Moony would like to tell Mr Padfoot that we can get some chocolate when we've dealt with Wormtail.**_

_YYYYAAAAYYYY!_

I-I wasn't doing a-a-anything, James! They w-were h-hexing me! Y-You have t-t-to b-believe m-m-me!

_**Mr Moony wants to hex this rat into oblivion.**_

**Mr Prongs agrees with Mr Moony, and would also like to point out to Mr Wormtail that none of the Slimy Slytherin's had their wands out, and neither did a certain rat.**

_Mr Padfoot really wants some chocolate, and would like to add that Mr Wormtail only rolls his right sleeve up now._

_**Mr Moony doesn't see how that's relevant?**_

_Mr Padfoot should remind Mr Moony that more than half his family are Death-Eaters, they have a sort of tattoo to show their loyalty to You-Know-Who on their left forearms._

**Mr Prongs would like to kick Mr Wormtail out of the Marauders and the Marauder's dormitory.**

_Mr Padfoot thinks-_

_**Mr Moony doesn't believe that for a minute.**_

_Mr Padfoot was TRYING to say, that he thinks all in favour of Peter Pettigrew's expulsion from the Marauders should say ' SNIVELLUS IS A SLIMY GIT WHO NEEDS TO WASH HIS PANTS AND HAIR, AND LEARN SOMETHING OTHER THAN THE DARK ARTS!'_

**SNIVELLUS IS A SLIMY GIT WHO NEEDS TO WASH HIS PANTS AND HAIR, AND LEARN SOMETHIING OTHER THAN THE DARK ARTS!**

_**SNIVELLUS IS A SLIMY GIT WHO NEEDS TO WASH HIS PANTS AND HAIR, AND LEARN SOMETHIING OTHER THAN THE DARK ARTS!**_

_Mr Padfoot is now removing all traces of Peter Pettigrew from the Marauder's map. Goodbye, Wormtail._

"I gotta go, guys. My wife's home."

**BYE MINI ME!**

As Harry took his wand off of the map, he was blinded by a flash of white light.

The woman who entered his study wasn't Ginny, but he thought he knew who he was.

He also knew who the 3 men next to him were.

"Mum? Dad? Sirius? Remus? What the hell are you doing here?"

"We live here, thicko!" Sirius laughed. "God, the kid's 24 and still as stupid as when he was 4... And fourteen..."

Harry gaped. "But you're supposed to be _dead!"_

Harry suddenly remembered what he overheard George asking Fred when he did as they said and went up the stairs to bed.

"_Do you think we should tell him that the Marauders actually write the replies from when they were in their 7__th__ year?"_

"_Nah, he'd freak out!"_

"Bloody hell..." Harry moaned.

Top marks for rewriting history when you're bored, Harry. But at least you aren't bored anymore.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I wrote this ages ago, and never actually got round to posting it. So here you go!<strong>

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything you recognise.**


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